Poem "trying so very hard"

for it is light now, here in this world where I live
yet I linger in darkness of my own choice
for I am afraid to show myself
the self that might not ever become better
than what I am right now

despite my best effort

Poem "it is dark now"

I am the darkness that suffocate
bright white light

I am the screams that echo
from mute broken walls

I am the pain and the blood
unheard and unseen
that breaks your ribs from within
and eats your rotting heart