Merry Christmas!

Hope you have something like this waiting at home for you!
I know I do...

Apologies

Just realised that I might be one of those people that I hate myself!

Every time I refer to someone writing fanfiction I say "she", as if it would be assumed that no men would ever write it.

For this I apologise profusely to anyone feeling affected!!!

Although I have to confess that it would be very exciting to know if there are any men among my favourite writers...hmmm...

Solanyxe, iFardel, Kinnosuikazura, Red Pill and Iron Dog. Are you all women?

Poem "stay, or struggle"

Let your brilliant mind dissolve.

Feel it lazily trickle into the hair fine cracks of your conscience.

Lick it off your numb fingers.

Smear it on your flesh.

Let it coat your pupils into haze, and stare.

You are already underneath, what need is there to breath?

Just open your mouth and let it smother your lungs with its oily sweetness.

Will you stay? or are you going to struggle?

either way...you are already here...

You think I will let you go now...

Holy BeeJesus

I added Iron Dog on "Recommended Reading" since her incredibly smutty Bleach fanfiction will just blow your mind!

Think I will have to try my hand in this art form too - but its not easy since I get all blushy trying to write it :P . (Somehow makes me think of how people who draw hentai must feel...how can you possibly stay neutral?!)

Beware! It is pure smut in its most distilled forms, have a tissue close by to stave any possible nosebleeds...

Oh, she also does other fanfiction like "Saiyuki" (gasp! nosebleed!)

Pillow Book "dare"

Today I realised that the one emotion that rules people more than anything is fear.

Not fear of physical pain or death, but fear that you won't be accepted as you are.

To be fully accepted as you are by another person, is the most beautiful feeling in this world.

It is pure love.

Yet, few people dare to really be themselves and therefore surround themselves with people that don't really know or understand them, leading to them having to disguise themselves yet again.

Drop the mask you have and dare be fully yourself, be proud of your likes and dislike.

Voice your opinions and listen to others.

Shed the people around you that don't understand you and before you know it you will be surrounded by people that is worthy of you.

Dare...the reward is worth the risk.

Vulcan mind meld...so easy even kittens can do it.

Ok, fellow Trekkies. Here is an update at my feeble attempts to learn the "Vulcan mind meld".

First a recap: this is how a REAL mind meld should look like:

Spock is performing it on Bones... (if he only could lean in and plant a wet one on him - fan service please!)

Now to display the simplicity of this procedure, here is a representation of how easy it should be:

(by the way, I laughed so hard I almost split my spleen, but if you don't find this funny it could be because you are not an obsessive "Star Trek" fan, which I am!)

Why is it that even kittens can do it but not ME ? Why, oh why....

Hilarious, freaky or cute?

I found this picture on EverydayFunnyFunny.com and I just can't stop looking (read staring...) at it.

Sure I do understand that they have complex for their "small" eyes but isn't this a little too much? They look just like dolls, or bambi. Especially with those lenses that are supposed to make your eyes become super large. For the male version of this see my rant on JaeJoong.

I wonder how they feel when they go home and remove the makeup, do they recognise themselves in the mirror?

Pillow Book "illuminati"

Where I come from, during the deepest darkest night of winter, we light soft flickering candles and sing old, old songs to chase away the neverending darkness.

How many years, no centuries, have we not continued to do so?

For it is true that just one small candle can give you hope returned, as you watch that tender spark resonate in the dark and chase your fears away.

Pillow Book "phrases that touches my heart"

"I wish you can forgive your Yesterdays,

I wish you can love your Tomorrows."
quote from Love Mode manga

"Don’t bow your head to anyone. Don’t kneel for anyone. It will become a habit. Once it becomes a habit, it will be hard to fix.

"

quote from Moon Jae Shin, Sungkyunkwan Scandal series

"The opposite of love is not hate,

its indifference."

quote from Mother Teresa

Pillow Book "nyctalopia"

At crepuscule I slowly start to go blind.

The sky is still light but the rest of the world turns to shadows for me as my vision starts fading in the edges.

Then, when the sun vanishes completely, I cannot even see shadows anymore. It is all like black velvet enveloping me, triggering my other senses.

When my vision goes, my inner eye opens.

Pillow Book "unfold"

The Universe has a way of unfolding itself.

Kung Fu Panda II

I can't even start to tell you how excited/thrilled/hysterical I am over the upcoming Kung Fu Panda II.




I absolutely adored the first one, I laughed so much, but also I was touched by the beauty and profoundness of the movie. In fact, just some days ago I was in a situation where I recalled a saying from the movie and because of it I changed my plans for that day (for the better...).

"One often meets destiny, on the roads you travel to avoid it."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, so looking forward to it!

Pillow Book "cold"

Sometimes I find myself wishing to be more explicitly emotional, like these exquisite fragile women who can make tears as easily as a smile.

I am the type of person that when I encounter something cruel or sad, it is as if my heart wrenches so hard that I cannot utter a word and my face freeze, not revealing anything.

Because of this I have many times been reproached as cold and unfeeling and even though these words hurt me deeply, I react in exactly the same way turning almost defiant in my pain.

On these occasions I remind myself of a saying I once read:

"Small sorrows have words, big sorrows are mute."

It comforts me a little proudly thinking that I feel much and therefore I am quiet, but still deep inside I can feel my heart clenching tight until I am breathless, when I hear the words "why aren't you crying?".

Poem "define it"

The Day
is only,
Life's distance to the Sun

Fanfiction "Undiclosed Desires"

Wohoo!

This time I made a fluffy Sungkyunkwan fanfiction as a break to the angsty shots I have been doing lately.
Its also a treat for the reader since you get to choose your own smutty Jong Ha/Jae Shin ending :D

So what are you waiting for? Go right now to "Undiclosed Desires"!

Oh, if you havent seen beyond episode 12 you should feel warned for spoilers, see header:

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Title: Undisclosed Desires

Series: Sungkyunkwan Scandal

Soundtrack: Undisclosed Desires – Muse

Spoilers: ep. 13 (actually the spoiler is in the summary below!)

Summary: Jong Ha, cheated out of his backwash of Daemul after the jangchigi tournament, takes out his frustration on Goel Oh

Excerpt: “still breathing into his ear as Jae Shin could feel one of Yong Has hands seeking underneath the white fabric of his pants, and he held his breath”

Time frame: Takes place after the jangchigi tournament in ep. 13

Pairings: Goo Yong Ha/Moon Jae Shin, Moon Jae Shin/Goo Yong Ha (depends on the ending)

Word count: ~1500

Rating: M

Category: fluff, smut, comedy

Warning:

Other: This is a multiple ending fic - you choose your ending!

Thanks:

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Fanfiction "Storm"

So I have managed to write another Sungkyunkwan fanfiction in a very short time. Guess I was just inspired. Of course its still my favourite team Yong Ha/Jae Shin (who else) that triggers my writing itch.

Truth be told I could not get this song out of my head and I knew straight away what I should write, so here we go again - another angsty songfic!

Here is "Storm", in a separate page, with header:

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Title: Storm

Series: Sungkyunkwan Scandal

Soundtrack: Storm – Lifehouse

Spoilers: -

Summary: Jong Ha makes a decision that is going to change his life, and maybe others, forever.

Excerpt: ”it was Jae Shin that took it the hardest. He immediately sprung up on his feet and stormed out of the Gu household”

Time frame: After series end

Pairings: NA

Word count: ~4000

Rating: T (songfic, angst)

Warning:

Other: The lyrics are from "Storm" by Lifehouse and the quote is from Confucius

Thanks:

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Poem "show me"

In my room there is a penetrating silence
that cannot be seen or touched.

It can only be tasted,
when you close your eyes.
Bittersweet.

In my room there is an overwhelming emptiness
that cannot be heard or tasted.

It can only be touched,
if you close your heart.
Seductively smooth.

In my room the oily darkness spreads as ink on silk.

Therefore I close my eyes,
close my heart
and I let the darkness wash over me
seeing how the corners of my mind are slowly turning black.

…

Then You step into my room
and you are carrying the Sun.

The rays hit my room like a blinding explosion of fireflies.
Everyone spreading their glow to the darkest most forbidden corners.

I cannot close my eyes anymore
but enthralled I stare at their luminescence,
marvelling at how their minuscule bodies can withhold such light
when I cannot.

As darkness flees my room,
the barred, dusty gates of my heart start creaking.

…

There is a silence in my room.
It softly sings to me.

There is an emptiness in my room.
I fills me to the brim.

And the darkness in my room is drowned
as I open the floodgates of my heart.

Poem "if me, as you II"

In your heart there are many doors
but only one leads to you.

How many doors do you think to open before you give up?
How many doors do you think others will, before they give up?

That one person who is for you, won't even need to try.
That one door within you, will open by itself and let them in.

Poem "archer"

Shall I paint
a bullseye over my heart,
then stand before you?

Poem "twisted"

If there were only You and Me left in this world,
I would not let you eat me.

For I am too wretched a creature,
for such a brilliant being as yourself.

Pillow Book: "hope in grey"

Today the sky was so rain heavy that the entire world seemed to have turned shades of grey and I could feel it weighing on my heart.
Then as I walked through the park, a little girl in a bright yellow raincoat came running.

Somehow the sight of this little yellow patch running so joyfully in a completely monochromatic world was so very touching that I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

Maybe this is what they call hope.

Fanfiction "Creep"

After reading the continuation of my favourite fanfiction from solanyxe "Hunter's Knife 1/2" I coulnd't get the confucian saying out of my head. I just knew I had to reuse it somehow and then when I by luck stumbled across iFardels astonishingly good fanfics "Bloody doesn't suit you" and "It's another world in here" I got so stuck on here magnificent use of "want" so I just had to lock it into my brain to reuse one day.

Then yesterday I managed to listen to Radioheads "Creep" and all just fell into place. So before I could stop myself I wrote a songfic inspired by the lyrics of "Creep".

I put "Creep" in a separate page as usual, here is the header:

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Title: Creep

Series: Sungkyunkwan Scandal

Soundtrack: Creep – Radiohead

Spoilers: -

Summary: Ha In Soo loathes Gu Yong Ha, or does he?

Excerpt: “As Yong Ha's hand slipped of and he walked in to the night Ha In Soo could not breath”

Pairings: Ha In Soo/ Goo Yong Ha (platonic)

Word count: ~2000

Rating: T (songfic)

Warning:

Other: Lyrics from Creep by Radiohead, quote from the Confucian Analects

Thanks: Solanyxe whose use of the quote from the Confucian Analects in her “Hunter's knife” inspired me so much I had to reuse it. Also iFardel who's use of “want” in “Bloody doesn't suit you” blew my mind until I had to use it too.

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I also want to take this chance to introduce iFardel. She has written two pretty short fanfics that are so right on that I can't be but astonished. She manages in such a limited amount of words catch the intense emotions of our favourite couple Yong Ha/Jae Shin without making it pressed.
Several wordings she has written is so smooth I almost gloss over in pleasure as I read them over and over again.

I wish I could be as short, smooth and sweet as you, so I am going to work very hard!

Thanks again, iFardel. You inspire me...

handsome, cute or just freaky?

This is Jaejoong from the enormously popular k-pop group JYJ; voted "Most Handsome Man in the World* 2010": (*guess that means asia...)



Pretty hot I must say, especially the lips (goosebumps in pleasure at the very thought of touching such plushy lips with any bodypart...) and he has got amazing eyes - looks just like Bambi!

Now this is a candid picture of Jaejoong being brutally vain/irresistibly adorable (can't make up my mind here) :



How on earth are women supposed to resist a guy that looks like Gods gift to women/men and then uses a "Hello Kitty" mirror to check his hotness?!

well he just slew me....now I have to make a fanfiction with him in it or so help me God!

Pillow Book: "phrases that touches my heart"

"who will drive my soul"
lyrics from Lights - Drive my soul

"I will see you again, in the place where no shadows fall."
quote from Delenn in Babylon 5 series

"Lift me up, let me go"
lyrics from Linkin Park - Jornada del Muerto

"everybody is starry eyed"
lyrics from Ellie Goulding - Starry Eyed

"I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."
poem by W. E. Henley - Invictus

"here we exist as it is"
lyrics from L'arc en Ciel- Kasou

“and yet it still moves”
quote by Galileo Galilei

Pillow Book "sifting"

Isnt it lovely when the cold is nipping your cheeks and you look up and see then sun as a white disk sifted through the thin layer of clouds.
In that moment there is none who could tell if it is the moon or the sun, for it has the same size, colour and light.

what in the name of all toasted frogs is a Pillow Book?

So I just realised that there are probably some people out there who doesn't know what a pillow book is. Since this is something I very often post maybe I should explain it.

The pillow book started with Sei Shonagon a court lady in Japan in the Heian era. She wrote about daily things that caught her eyes or ears, such as gossip, events or just things she noted or ranted about.
In short a pillow book is a literary work that is not a novel or poetry. A sort of diary.

I personally use it when I have something to say that doesnt fit the category of fanfiction, novellas or poetry.

It just so happens that there is a movie called "The Pillow Book" - its an amazing movie, very poetic and sensual.

Poem "hands"

your warm hands
on my cold skin
lights up my body like a powerplant.

Poem "snake"

like an escaping snake
the river hides in the thicket.
In the reflection I can see playing children.

Are you homosexual? Just look at your right hand!

According to a scientific study your right hand can say wether you are homosexual or not - IF you are a woman.
According to the study, women in general has an index finger that is equal or longer to their ring finger, while men have the opposite (that is, a ring finger that is longer than the index finger).
This difference is usually easier to see on the right hand than on the left, for some obscure reason.

The conclusion of the study is that homosexual women more often have a right hand that is "male" than "female".

The reason is that these women have been exposed to higher levels of testosterone while in the womb, but why it affects the hands is unsure.
However it seems that when applied to men there is no correlation to finger length and homosexuality - homosexual men can have just as heterosexual hands as a hetersexual man.
Although they add that a man with "female" finger length show more "female" tendencies, not necessarily changing their sexual preference.

On another hand another scientific study concludes that the more older brothers you have as a man the higher the chance of you becoming homosexual. As if the mothers body remembers that she has already produced enough boys and then tries to make the rest into girls.

Strange concepts, and I have to say that I don't like the idea of boxing in homosexuality like this but the reason I am posting this info is because I can directly relate to it.

It so happens that I, a woman, actually have a very "male" hand and I so happen to be both bisexual and have a very "male" thinking. I also have a uncle who is homosexual with two older brothers. To add to it know several other people who display exactly the characteristics of these studies.
So to conclude, I am sure the study has some points but you should never think it is as easy as that and for reference I could again use myself: I rather feel like a man trapped in a womans body, but I still like men so that would make me a homosexual man in a womans body = heterosexual woman?! (To add to the confusion I also like women, making me more a bisexual man in a bisexual womans body...yes, lets stop there...If you weren't confused already...)

The fun part of this is that from now on you are always going to watch peoples hands and wonder what their sexual preferences are! No matter the proof!

Finally, does it really matter?

Hating someone is a sin but loving someone, no matter who, can NEVER be wrong. (Quote from SKKS's Gu Yong Ha)

Oh, and please take the poll I made (under "tags" to the right) - I am dying to know if this is really true or not so I am making my own statistics. ;)

Fanfiction "Starry Eyes"

After reading kinnosuikazura voluptuous fanfiction "The Jalguem Quartet's Secret Outing" I realised that I had to write a really smutty ending to my "Say it Right".

You should probably read "Say it Right" to understand the context but I guess if you just want a regular smutty oneshot you could also read it straight off.

I put "Starry Eyes" in a separate page, due to practicality but here is the header:

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Title: Starry Eyes

Series: Sungkyunkwan Scandal

Soundtrack: Starry Eyes – Ellie Goulding

Spoilers: -

Summary: The x-rated ending of “Say it Right”

Excerpt: “with his dishevelled hair curling around his face, his delectable lips slightly parted and a completely innocent look in his eyes and Yong Ha forgot what he wanted to say as he realised that he wanted to have this man”

Pairings: Moon Jae Shin/Goo Yong Ha

Word count: ~5000

Rating: NC-17/MA

Warning: Smut in all its forms

Other: Continuation of “Say it Right”

Thanks: To kinnosuikazura for teaching me the word “plushly” and making me a better smutty writer. The last hic! Is a tribute to her “The Jalguem Quartet's Secret Outing ” that has inspired this fanfiction enormously.

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I would like to mention my smut-muse kinnosuikazura who manages to make me mentally tingle with her fanfiction.

What is particularly good with her writings is that she makes it deliciously voluptuous and surprising without making it too graphical. She is enormously good in making me raise my eyebrows in surprise of unusual pairings or situations that in the end turn out to be a fantastic idea. Also she is the one inventing the word “plushly” that I from this day forward cannot stop using.

I wish I could be as innovative as you so I am going to work hard!


Thanks again, kinnosuikazura. You really make me open my eyes...

Heechul likes kissing..anyone..or anything...

So, as to stay in subject of lips I haev found a fantastic video of Heechul kissing. And he doesnt just kiss anyone but EVERYONE and EVERYTHING and...



Background for those who don't know: Heechul is a member of the korean pop group Super Junior. Him being a kissomaniac is supposedly only "fan service" which is very popular in asian cultures. Only this time even the most rabid fans are having problems believing that Heechul is just doing fanservice. He seems set on planting his lips on everything that moves...

Oh, well. This world needs more kisses I think! Don't you agree?

So, Heechul! You go Boy! You have my full support! I might even kiss you myself if I would ever meet you.

Besides, since when is it not a joy to watch beautiful boys kissing ;P

tumblr for Moon Jae Shin

Just discovered this amazing tool tmblr to find pictures, quotes and all things unneccesary about your favourite things/people.

Of course I used it on my favourite obsession right now, Moon Jae Shin, the sensitive brute from SungKyunKwan Scandal series.

This guy just kills me with sweetness and sexiness....and those lips...swoon...

Pillow Book: "empty, but full"

sometimes the night air fills my head until I cannot think,

It is like listening to music that fills the void,
when you turn it off, the silence is audible.

Girls are like MnM

Cute guy making more sense than you think...