New Stars Wars VII: The Force Awakens fanfic: Echoes

I was inspired by icestorming's beautiful drawing "collect/connect" that you can see below:

Header for my new fanfic in the kylux universe is below:

Title: Connections IV: Echoes

Series: Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens

Soundtrack: Echoes: Eliza Hull

Spoilers: No

Time frame: After SW7

Summary: Kylo Ren and General Hux are perfect opposites in every sense of the meaning and it is causing great disturbances in the force. What better way for the force to balance than to draw them inevitably together, each completing the other, to create something far more than they could ever be on their own.

Excerpt: “We are drawn together so violently that the very fabric of space is torn apart. A nuclear explosion so destructive even the force is not enough to contain it and the only way to save everything is to defy the very laws of physics - a stellar nursery of possibilities, a deep dark chasm so dim only the stars can guide you out.”

Pairings: Hux/Kylo Ren

Word count: ~1600

Rating: ()

Warning: A spiritual follow-up for my “Connections” series but not a story in the real sense of the word but more like poetry, or character study

Other: I started writing this from Hux OTP but when it was finished I realised that if you squint it could also be from Ren’s side – you take your pick.

Thanks: focus-quote from X-Men: First Class, I have found inspiration to my writings all over Tumblr and I can't even remember half of it, so if you recognise anything (within reason) and want to be credited just let me know. Special thanks to icestorming for the lovely drawing “collect/connect” for “incotober2016” that was the beginning of it all.

As ususal you can read it on AOOO by clicking here or above.

New Sungkyunkwan Scandal fanfic "#icanteven"

On popular demand I have written a continuation of my "Fountain Arc" with Gu Yong Ha/Ha In Soo.

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Title: The Fountain Arc II: #icanteven
Series: Sungkyunkwan Scandal
Soundtrack: #icanteven - The Neighbourhood
Spoilers: Yes, episode 12-end
Time frame: episode 12-end
Summary: What do you do when the one you love, loves another. What if the best you can do is not good enough. Will you resort to violence again? And what if this time it cannot be undone.
Excerpt: “It is not love it is lust... It is not love it is lust...The mantra beat in the same rhythm as Yong Ha's pulse under In Soo's thumb and it reminded him of how easily he let this guards down in Yong Ha’s company.”
Pairings: Ha In Soo/Gu Yong Ha
Word count: ~6500
Rating: NC-17 (smut, angst)
Warning: implied noncon
Other: I have taken some of the drama scenes and used/changed the original dialogue somewhat to fit my scenario. Dialogue in italic is original dialogue from the series, while all other dialogue is mine.
Thanks: This fanfic is dedicated to “happy fangirl”, “lin” and “kyouou” who all left very nice comments on my “Creep” and “Hardest of Hearts”, thus inducing me to want to write more on this “unusual” couple. Also thanks to “Quoteaddict” who has a huge compilation of SSKS quotes – they came very handy when I was trying to piece this fanfic together!

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As usual you can it all on AOOO, here!

Virtual book compilation of my fanfics

I have awesome fans, Pandoraylam made this compilation of most of my Sungkyunkwan fanfics and published it online

Thank you so much Pandoraylam!

Star Wars VII: Fanfiction "Breath"

I made a small continuation of my previous "Connection" series.

I hesitated to post this one at all, because it has a theme that is based on a very personal experience I went through myself. After writing, it has taken me several months to be able to edit it since I couldn't make myself read more than a few paragraphs at a time before I recalled too much. Anyway, I finally decided to post it since it almost feels like a sort of catharsis, so here it is, posted on AOOO as usual.

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Title: Connections III: Breath
Series: Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens
Soundtrack: Breath: of Verona
Spoilers: No
Time frame: after movie end
Summary: How hard will you struggle to keep alive when everything is lost. Is the light drawing nearer in the vortex of someone’s blue-green eyes, or will you drown in eternal darkness?
Excerpt: “Kylo doesn't want to be here anymore, he wants Hux's breath again, he wants his sweet clean horizon. Kylo wants to drown in the being that is Hux, until he can no longer emerge only Kylo Ren, but something in between.”
Pairings: Hux/Kylo Ren
Word count: ~4300
Rating:  ()
Warning: The basis for this fic is a first-hand experience that I would not care to relive, set to the kylux-theme, so readers beware.
Other: Songfic stand-alone continuation of Connections II: Super Human
Thanks: Lyrics in italic is “Breath” from “of Verona”. I have found inspiration to my writings all over Tumblr and I can't even remember half of it, so if you recognise anything (within reason) and want to be credited just let me know.   ____________________________________________________________

Star Wars VII: Fanfiction "Super Human"

By popular demand, here comes the continuation of my previous fanfic "Coward".

Title: Connections II: Super human
Series: Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens
Soundtrack: Super human - Andrew Bayer feat. Asbjørn
Spoilers: Yes
Time frame: end of movie
Summary: The end is not always what we expect it to be. Losing something important can mean that we win something else and running through a forest chasing treasure at the end of a rainbow isn’t always a fairytale.
Excerpt: “Hux felt frozen on the inside, fragile like withered leaves in autumn, as he squeezed harder on the shoulder trying to coax a reaction, any reaction, out of the still figure.”
Pairings: Hux/Kylo Ren
Word count: ~ 2000
Rating:  ()
Warning:
Other:
Thanks: I have found inspiration to my writings all over Tumblr and I can't even remember half of it, so if you recognise anything (within reason) and want to be credited just let me know. Fire-quote from “Sherlock”.

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As usual it is posted in AOOO archive: "Super Human"

Star Wars VII: Fanfiction "Coward"

I have a new ship that I cannot get out of my head, so I have done what I do best. Fanfic about it and as always I put the header below (as a teaser) and then you can follow the link in the title to the AOOO page:

Title: Connections I: Coward

Series: Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens

Soundtrack: Coward: Hayden Calnin

Spoilers: Yes

Time frame: End of movie

Summary: True freedom can only be taken by those have been chained, true love has to be given freely, abundantly, overflowing, expecting nothing in return and true peace can only come to those who are not cowards.

Excerpt: “He wanted to linger on it but he almost didn’t have the energy anymore to marvel at the idea of his heart laid so bare. Did Hux know this? Had Hux seen this before, this vibration travelling though the ribbons? Did he feel it? Would he feel it when they would fade. Would he feel the last... thump?”

Pairings: Hux/Kylo Ren

Word count: ~2500

Rating: ()

Warning: deathfic?

Other: This is a stand-alone “continuation” of metropolitanlights exquisite “Coloured Connections” - it is advisable to read it first since the concept of “connections” is not explained in this fic”.

Thanks: Thank you metropolitanlights for your amazing idea and fic! Poem from Miguel de Unamuno, also thanks to neurovicky whose Tumblr prompt “too late” made my demons sing in tune. Dialogue in italics is from “Coloured Connections”. Also I have found inspiration to my writings all over Tumblr and I can't even remember half of it, so if you recognise anything (within reason) and want to be credited just let me know.
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It is already published in AOOO under "Coward", nuff said.

Fanfiction translation to Vietnamese

The awesome Aconite has translated my "Sungkyungwan Scandal" fanfic "Save your Goodbye" to VIETNAMESE - how incredible is that?

You can find it here: SAVE YOUR GOODBYE (Vietnamese version)

THANK YOU ACONITE!

This beautiful video makes me unafraid of dying...

Poem "to steal away"

This one is for Dak-shi, since she begs so earnestly for a poem about "ninjas" and because she have made awesome posters for some of my fics and graphics for one of my poems. I admit that I have taken artistic freedom to the concept of ninjas since the subject per se doesn't exactly vibrate my creative spirit. I took the meaning of the original word in Japanese shinobi; "to steal away". (I think I feel a slight T.S Eliot interference here too...)

Hope its dark enough, Dak-shi!

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The thought, as fast as I am, that "darkness never fades"
covers my face, and the night, with monochromatic shades
the blade sinks in and the cold air stings, as life bleeds over my boots.

I will need to clean it, I think, as the weight on my arm crumble and sink

The stillness is deafening, the darkness blinding
the light rain scorching, as it seeps through the fabric, finding
my cool, collected skin

and as always, when the night closes in
I delve in the surprise, that never seems to surprise me
why isn't the world in riot, screaming, shouting, crowding
why isn't the world in chaos, crying, beating and drowning

a man is dead, a man just died
his blood is on my boots
and hands

Why aren't there shouts in anger and sobs in grief
why isn't someone collecting around him
demanding in justice and peace

I have cut down a life as one would pick a flower
I have taken and buried or arranged for display
and nothing I leave makes a difference
to the indifference of men

and just as them, the silent night is still, too still
while the pool of blood grows larger
as if in quiet defiance
to me, and men
and to the science
of death

and I know that no one will come until morrow
and even then I feel no relief nor sorrow
just a strange curiosity

After all, I am just another weld in the human chain
bound by a fragile life
and I have an overwhelming need to know what will happen
when that wire bends and breaks

will it go quietly, in darkness
or explode in blinding light
will men rise and speak
or shall I do it for them?

I shall need to clean my boots, I think, before I steal another link

and my monochromatic thoughts give me hope
again and again
as to the difference I can make
to the indifference of men

Poem "the Lay of the Land"

where I went the mountains grew wild
and water everywhere in rivers and falls and in rain
but it was nothing I hadn't seen
I realised in inexplicable pain

and sharp black rocks cut me
as the violent sea dragged me under
but it was nothing I hadn't felt before,
no sense of wonder

then darkness came and stars were there
but it was the same ones I had already seen
and it all seemed so mean

and the sun rose with white unwarming light
like a thousand sunrises before

and I was giving up
and letting go
for it was nothing
nothing
as giving in
or holding on

but then blue ice cracked and wrung and loosened upon the world
the dying weight of aeons
grinding, crushing and screaming

like nothing
nothing I had ever seen

and the birds danced above it
no fear and all speed
teasing me to join them
without taking heed

and a joy I felt
breathing in the cold
cold freedom
the salt of sea and dust of rocks
and I knew
I had never been here before
for it was like nothing
nothing
before

"I am NOT Sherlock"

(epiphany I had a few days ago realising that no matter how much I relate to a character and see things in them that is identical to myself; I am NOT them - I am wholly, awesomely only myself, with everything that comes with it, good and bad. and I love it...I love being me and mo matter how much I can resemble someone else I will never truly be them in the same sense they will never truly be me...)

Poem "explosions"

don't worry
if you can't see me flash across the sky
for you shall undoubtedly
hear my thunder

Poem "kairos"

In a minute

I shall run through the doors 
with my hair flowing behind me
as the sun sets over the the horizon and bleeds into the sea

I shall run with my breath
no longer reaching my lungs
and the taste of copper filling my mouth 

but I will be too late
too late

as the sun bleeds
and vanishes

In a minute

we shall be surrounded by blinding lights
and winds that rip our tears from us
as the sea crashes brutally on poor defenseless creatures

but deep in this ocean there is a place
untouched
where lives are born and lost without ever feeling the wind
where dimmed eyes never see the sun bleeding
but the taste of copper lingers in their mouths

In a minute

The door shall close
when the final light of their world diminishes and dies

and then it will be too late
too late

to crash and bleed

like the setting sun
over the ocean


*kairos  (καιρός) is an ancient Greek word meaning the right or opportune moment (the supreme moment). It signifies a time lapse, a moment of indeterminate time in which everything happens. Wikipedia

I got the inspiration for this poem from other-wordly

More awesomeness from Dak-shi

Dak-shi has made another poster for me (she also made on for my poem "the deep and the light"), this time is from my "Sungkyunkwan Scandal" fanfiction the "Lake Arc".

Love this poster, especially how she used the quote together with the oooh sooo suggestive image, but with reversed polarity! Aaaaaaaah, massively awesome, Dak-shi!

Quick reaction

I have awesome fans!
One of my die hard fans Dak-shi just sent me this beautiful rendition of my latest poem "The deep and the light":

I loove so much when people get inspired by my writings, thank you all for being so amazing!

Poem "the deep and the light"

I carry the ocean within me
everywhere I go
The waves crash on my ribs and the anemones bloom on my spine

I carry the ocean, or it carries me
for everywhere I go
the waves wither down my resolution and the corals build it anew

You carry the ocean within you
everywhere you go
let your waves decide your reason and the current your final path

for the ocean will always be with you
anywhere you would like to go

Poem "what is left"

I was a flower
before I was a root

now I am a root
without a flower

I was plucked
before I could wither

and now I wait impatiently for another spring

maybe...
maybe I am just lost.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

I wish for love and acceptance to everyone, 

no matter who you love...

Amazing picture from Hae Jin Bae at Soulist-Aurora

Poem "trying so very hard"

for it is light now, here in this world where I live
yet I linger in darkness of my own choice
for I am afraid to show myself
the self that might not ever become better
than what I am right now

despite my best effort