Last night,
deep night
Death stayed by my side
All night,
dark night
holding my hand
in a cold clammy grip
hard enough to bruise
but
not the Death I know
not the Death I know
not for peace
not for comfort
not for love
but from despairing hollowness
menacing
haunting
terror
void
staring back at me
as I was seeking some
peace
comfort
love
this was not the Death I know
just
waiting
waiting
waiting for the moment I will let go
I am not afraid to die
but
not like that
not like that
unknown faces
watching
casually
discussing
white spaces
closing in
while I
lie there
alone
alone
alone
caged inside my decaying body
shaking so hard
focusing everything
on that tiny shivering ember of life
that still remain
inside
clutching the sheets with white knuckles
with a litany of fear repeating in my mind
over
and over
and over
and over again
the only one by my side
a terrifying Death I don't know
bruising my hand
bruising my hand
waiting for the moment I will let go
the only hope
a menacing Death I don't know
bruising my hand
as much as I was
bruising his,
holding on
WOW this is beautiful it reminds me of people who are on there death bed who are extremely ill (like having cancer) or people who are ready to die just lying there waiting to finally let go
ReplyDeleteyou have no idea how close to the truth you really are...
Deletewow really? x
DeleteHeartwrenching poem. It made me shiver and turned my stomach upside down. Even Death gets a beating!
ReplyDeleteDeath bruising 'his' hand in embrace...
Never let go, not like that, indeed. Never regret.
Thank you, this poem means a lot to me so your comment means a lot too.
Delete