Pillow Book "I am III"

A few days ago I was in a situation where someone told me, that the he thought I should give up on my biggest dream, that I have pursued for quite some time. He felt that I did not have what it takes to do it, or to quote him directly:

"You are incompetent, slow and someone needs to help you with everything. You should give up, you are not fit for this."

Of course I already knew what he was going to say, and frankly his opinion makes no difference for me at all, but what is interesting is how he said it - "you SHOULD give up".

This is a litany I have heard ever since I was a child, over and over again. I have chosen a subject of studies and work that is traditionally male and very complex, and therefore I have NEVER had any support whatsoever from neither my family, friends, teachers och society.

It has not stopped me at all, rather it has just made me more determined to succeed! To show myself that I can do it, despite others opinions.

The entire time he was lecturing me I couldn't help having a quote from Sungkyunkwan Scandal in my head:

"You cannot make me give up with the words ""you can't do it",

because from the day I sought to learn literature as a girl,

I never once heard the words "you can do it"."

(quote by Kim Yoon Hee in Sungkyunkwan Scandal)

It is so right on that it is scary. For I too, have never once heard anyone tell me: "You can do it!"

No, rather all my life I have heard words like: "Give up" , "you are not good enough", "you are only a girl", "I am doing you a favour telling you this", "it would be better for you" and so on...

It is sad. It is pathetic. It is horrifying how someone think they have the right to judge you.

Funnily enough, I have actually succeeded. I have not given up, neither on me or my dream, and I have come to a understanding on why people feel they have to say these things:

They are afraid that we might succeed! That is why they tell you that you should give up.

Deep, down they are terrified that we might succeed - because it would mean that they have failed. They have failed themselves.

So, don't ever give up! Everyone had a right to their own opinion, but NO ONE has the right to tell to give up (which also makes me think of another quote from this formidable series:)

"I have finally come to stand in front of my target,

until I have shot all the arrows given to me

I have no thoughts of giving up."

quote by Kim Yoon Hee in Sungkyunkwan Scandal

So I tell you,

Until you shoot all the arrows that life has given you, DO NOT GIVE UP!

for even if you miss the target, maybe the very last arrow WILL hit it, and if you give up before you shoot it, you will never know if you could have done it or not.