Star Wars VII: Fanfiction "Coward"

I have a new ship that I cannot get out of my head, so I have done what I do best. Fanfic about it and as always I put the header below (as a teaser) and then you can follow the link in the title to the AOOO page:

Title: Connections I: Coward

Series: Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens

Soundtrack: Coward: Hayden Calnin

Spoilers: Yes

Time frame: End of movie

Summary: True freedom can only be taken by those have been chained, true love has to be given freely, abundantly, overflowing, expecting nothing in return and true peace can only come to those who are not cowards.

Excerpt: “He wanted to linger on it but he almost didn’t have the energy anymore to marvel at the idea of his heart laid so bare. Did Hux know this? Had Hux seen this before, this vibration travelling though the ribbons? Did he feel it? Would he feel it when they would fade. Would he feel the last... thump?”

Pairings: Hux/Kylo Ren

Word count: ~2500

Rating: ()

Warning: deathfic?

Other: This is a stand-alone “continuation” of metropolitanlights exquisite “Coloured Connections” - it is advisable to read it first since the concept of “connections” is not explained in this fic”.

Thanks: Thank you metropolitanlights for your amazing idea and fic! Poem from Miguel de Unamuno, also thanks to neurovicky whose Tumblr prompt “too late” made my demons sing in tune. Dialogue in italics is from “Coloured Connections”. Also I have found inspiration to my writings all over Tumblr and I can't even remember half of it, so if you recognise anything (within reason) and want to be credited just let me know.
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It is already published in AOOO under "Coward", nuff said.

Fanfiction translation to Vietnamese

The awesome Aconite has translated my "Sungkyungwan Scandal" fanfic "Save your Goodbye" to VIETNAMESE - how incredible is that?

You can find it here: SAVE YOUR GOODBYE (Vietnamese version)

THANK YOU ACONITE!

This beautiful video makes me unafraid of dying...

Poem "to steal away"

This one is for Dak-shi, since she begs so earnestly for a poem about "ninjas" and because she have made awesome posters for some of my fics and graphics for one of my poems. I admit that I have taken artistic freedom to the concept of ninjas since the subject per se doesn't exactly vibrate my creative spirit. I took the meaning of the original word in Japanese shinobi; "to steal away". (I think I feel a slight T.S Eliot interference here too...)

Hope its dark enough, Dak-shi!

---

The thought, as fast as I am, that "darkness never fades"
covers my face, and the night, with monochromatic shades
the blade sinks in and the cold air stings, as life bleeds over my boots.

I will need to clean it, I think, as the weight on my arm crumble and sink

The stillness is deafening, the darkness blinding
the light rain scorching, as it seeps through the fabric, finding
my cool, collected skin

and as always, when the night closes in
I delve in the surprise, that never seems to surprise me
why isn't the world in riot, screaming, shouting, crowding
why isn't the world in chaos, crying, beating and drowning

a man is dead, a man just died
his blood is on my boots
and hands

Why aren't there shouts in anger and sobs in grief
why isn't someone collecting around him
demanding in justice and peace

I have cut down a life as one would pick a flower
I have taken and buried or arranged for display
and nothing I leave makes a difference
to the indifference of men

and just as them, the silent night is still, too still
while the pool of blood grows larger
as if in quiet defiance
to me, and men
and to the science
of death

and I know that no one will come until morrow
and even then I feel no relief nor sorrow
just a strange curiosity

After all, I am just another weld in the human chain
bound by a fragile life
and I have an overwhelming need to know what will happen
when that wire bends and breaks

will it go quietly, in darkness
or explode in blinding light
will men rise and speak
or shall I do it for them?

I shall need to clean my boots, I think, before I steal another link

and my monochromatic thoughts give me hope
again and again
as to the difference I can make
to the indifference of men

Poem "the Lay of the Land"

where I went the mountains grew wild
and water everywhere in rivers and falls and in rain
but it was nothing I hadn't seen
I realised in inexplicable pain

and sharp black rocks cut me
as the violent sea dragged me under
but it was nothing I hadn't felt before,
no sense of wonder

then darkness came and stars were there
but it was the same ones I had already seen
and it all seemed so mean

and the sun rose with white unwarming light
like a thousand sunrises before

and I was giving up
and letting go
for it was nothing
nothing
as giving in
or holding on

but then blue ice cracked and wrung and loosened upon the world
the dying weight of aeons
grinding, crushing and screaming

like nothing
nothing I had ever seen

and the birds danced above it
no fear and all speed
teasing me to join them
without taking heed

and a joy I felt
breathing in the cold
cold freedom
the salt of sea and dust of rocks
and I knew
I had never been here before
for it was like nothing
nothing
before

"I am NOT Sherlock"

(epiphany I had a few days ago realising that no matter how much I relate to a character and see things in them that is identical to myself; I am NOT them - I am wholly, awesomely only myself, with everything that comes with it, good and bad. and I love it...I love being me and mo matter how much I can resemble someone else I will never truly be them in the same sense they will never truly be me...)

Poem "explosions"

don't worry
if you can't see me flash across the sky
for you shall undoubtedly
hear my thunder